A New Day!

Convocation Day at SDSU for my little sis, Yvonne (Ivy).  We are so proud of her.  I can't believe she's starting College!  I can't believe I'm so old and have an 18 year old sister! What an exciting adventure for her.  It was a full day for all of us, including my step-mom. I thought about Yvonne starting her new adventure and I thought about my own adventure with my lap band - what will my eating habits be, four years from now when Yvonne graduates?  Today at lunch while 3 out of 5 of us had pasta and 1 out of 5 had fries and a wrap (in tortilla), I ate hummus (no pita).  Four years from now at Yvonne's graduation, will I be celebrating her graduation with a bite of pasta, or a petite filet, or will I be eating strained yogurt and some hummus?


Wherever my lap band journey takes me, I'll just have to remember that I did this because my dad's poor health, one passed down to me through his genes, is what took him away from seeing his youngest daughter start college. I did this to see my children go to college.

Popcorn and my Psychiatrist

Stefan and I went to my second Lap Band Support Group last night and a lot of topics were addressed for the three post-op attendees. 

I brought up how I was feeling like I wish I had been informed more about the foods I would not be able to eat.  I don't know if I'm feeling regret about having surgery - I don't have a choice now - I have a device stitched around my stomach and have a port/tube type leash attached to the band.  It's now a part of me. 

I guess my issue is that I was lead to believe that I would eventually be able to eat most of the foods I had before - not true.  Some of the "not allowed" foods include - bread, pasta, tortillas, desserts, popcorn, nuts, rice, and right now (and possibly forever) steaks, chops, raw veggies or fibrous veggies. 

One of the group members said I was obsessing too much on the diet and the foods.  Well, yeah!  I can't eat most of the foods that I thought I'd be able to eat.  Yes, I'm still just in my second week of mushy foods and will transition soon to semi-solid foods but I'm nervous about throwing-up or "PBing" (Productive Burping - basically throwing up but a term that banders use).  I don't want to clog up my band and have to have emergency surgery because I clogged up the opening with tortilla. 

So what will I be able to eat?   I had some popcorn last night - I made some for the girls and I couldn't resist - yes, I'm weak!  I felt OK eating it - most bandsters from the LapBandTalk.com forum mentioned that for them, popcorn was a "slider food" and that they had no problem with it.  I was OK with the 5 handfuls I ate but I had a stomach ache before bed.  So 2-3 handfuls might be my limit. 

Now I have the overwhelming guilt thinking of the popcorn that is possibly sitting in my stomach!

Dr. Shapiro gave us a homework assignment before our next meeting, we're to go to the movies and NOT have popcorn.  She asked, "why do you feel you need to have popcorn or something to eat while you watch a movie?"  Hmm?  Because it makes me feel good!  I know, I get it but still - what a test, right?

Then on the way home from the session, Stefan and I were stopped in traffic for a bit because a guy was on a freeway bridge about to jump and traffic was stopped while negotiators tried to talk him down.  My food disorder, my popcorn guilt and the rest of my worries didn't seem so bad after seeing this guy about to leap off the bridge. 

One Month Post-Op!

It's been one month since surgery and things are good - very good.  This photo is me, in shorts (with my very white legs) but shorts none-the-less.  The kids and I were at the park with Kuma Steph and our lovely godchildren.  I had a great time being out, celebrating with a little stroll and sunshine. 

I started mushy foods this weekend with some of my first meals being greek yogurt or ricotta with pureed spaghetti sauce also refried beans.  My weight-loss has started but I can tell you that going from 300-500 calories to 800 calories a day really makes a difference in how one feels.  Once I can get used to these calories I will get more exercise in and take the last 20 lbs. off to meet my goal.  

Stefan and I are heading up to the Bay Area in a few weeks to celebrate my cousin's engagement and I'm really hoping to lose at least another 5-10 lbs. 

School/work is about to start back up and I've seen a lot of colleagues - some are noticing the weight loss and some are not.  At first I didn't think I'd mind that folks didn't notice the weight loss but I do - why?  Am I really that vain?  I thought I was losing the weight for my health?  Why should I care that folks notice?

More fun Before/After pictures coming soon.

Pain & Hunger

Last night I was almost in tears because I was so hungry. I have one more week before I officially start mushy foods but Stefan saw how hungry I was and said, "let's try a scrambled egg." I couldn't resist! I tried it and it was THE BEST egg ever. I chew chew chewed and drank water very slowly with it.

Today, my lil lil sister, Yvonne, arrived from the Fresno area and is now a San Diego resident. She's staying with us until she's able to move into her College Dorm. So cool! Stefan and I are excited about her new adventure.

Work is crazy - very very busy with registration tomorrow. I also pushed myself today - hurt myself because the Tylenol is still not working. I went to CostCo after work by myself and tried to put my groceries in the car by myself. So stupid!

For dinner I broke down again and age another scrambled egg - yummy.

Where the heck in my Unjury Chocolate protein powder? My new fave because when mixed with Unsweetened Almond Milk I feel as if I'm drinking "real chocolate milk." Five days since the order was placed and apparently it is still in Bloomington, CA? Where is Bloomington?

All this stress, all this excitement - this is when I would have turned to lots of alcohol and food - but I didn't. I did a bit with the egg and an extra treat of fro-yo but still about 700 calories today.

I am exhausted beyond belief but my spirits are high! Now let's continue with the weight loss, shall we?

I "LOST" my four-year old!

I weighed Iliana (my four-year old), last night and she weighed in at 35.5 pounds. As of today, I have lost 35.8 pounds! I "lost" my four-year old (in weight). I can't wait until I'm able to pick up Iliana again to really find out how much extra weight I was carrying! I still have about 23 pounds to my goal weight of 140 - wow. I still have a week and a half of liquid foods. I wonder how much more I'll lose in the next two weeks.

Tomorrow is my follow up with Dr. Ellner. I have my questions ready for her. I'm excited and nervous about what we'll discuss. What I really want to know if when I can start eating mushy foods! I dream of mushy foods.

Yesterday, I introduced Almond Milk (Unsweetened) and used it as my liquid with protein powder today - wow, it was definitely yummy to my taste buds.

Two Weeks and Half Way to Healthy!

As of today, I'm past my half way weight loss. I'm down 33 lbs and have 24 to go to meet my goal weight. I'm also two weeks post-op. My doctor post-op appt. has been rescheduled to Monday and I am very excited about it.

Surprisingly, I'm still feeling pain when I sit and when I lay down. Moving around is much better. I feel much more helpful. I'm excited to get back to work on Monday but will probably have to take it easy. I also am excited to drive again - I can drive tomorrow.

Yesterday, I had one of those mini ice cream cups (just plain Vanilla). I was feeling very low sugar and Stefan and I couldn't see any reason that I couldn't have it. I just have to know that I cannot have it all the time.

I'm counting down the days to mushy foods and all I do is imagine the possibilities that await my new eating adventure. The lapbandtalk.com forum has been an invaluable source of information. One of the topics I've joined has great information about getting back into eating and socializing (my triggers). Another topic has been helpful in understanding "PB" - it is like throwing up for bandsters - it stands for Productive Burp - burping up food and slime. Sounds scary, right? Yes it does!

The ride home from Mammoth was horribly painful - we really tried to take breaks but it was still bad. Resting today will really help. What a great family vacation and an amazing way to recoup.

Recouping with Scenery!

The second half of my recoup is being spent at a family vacation (Vukotich Seniors and Juniors) for our very first family trip together to Mammoth. The 9 hour drive up (because we had to make stops every 50-60 minutes at the doctor's advice) was brutal and very painful but we made it OK. My wonderful in-laws are really letting me take it easy. We went fishing yesterday with the girls and had a blast. Nana caught a 19 inch trout that weighed a little over 3 pounds - WOW!!! It was so cool to watch it happen. Lots of fun pictures to share when we return.

My port wound seems to hurt the most and my back is still killing me. Breathing seems much better so the hernia wound must be healing. Still not getting sleep.

I tried to eat the broth from French Onion soup at a restaurant the other night but it did not agree with me - too many spices or something. Sticking to one protein type and having broth for dinner along with sugar-free jello.

Today we're going to take it easy and do a small walk at Devil's Postpile after lunch.