Popcorn and my Psychiatrist

Stefan and I went to my second Lap Band Support Group last night and a lot of topics were addressed for the three post-op attendees. 

I brought up how I was feeling like I wish I had been informed more about the foods I would not be able to eat.  I don't know if I'm feeling regret about having surgery - I don't have a choice now - I have a device stitched around my stomach and have a port/tube type leash attached to the band.  It's now a part of me. 

I guess my issue is that I was lead to believe that I would eventually be able to eat most of the foods I had before - not true.  Some of the "not allowed" foods include - bread, pasta, tortillas, desserts, popcorn, nuts, rice, and right now (and possibly forever) steaks, chops, raw veggies or fibrous veggies. 

One of the group members said I was obsessing too much on the diet and the foods.  Well, yeah!  I can't eat most of the foods that I thought I'd be able to eat.  Yes, I'm still just in my second week of mushy foods and will transition soon to semi-solid foods but I'm nervous about throwing-up or "PBing" (Productive Burping - basically throwing up but a term that banders use).  I don't want to clog up my band and have to have emergency surgery because I clogged up the opening with tortilla. 

So what will I be able to eat?   I had some popcorn last night - I made some for the girls and I couldn't resist - yes, I'm weak!  I felt OK eating it - most bandsters from the LapBandTalk.com forum mentioned that for them, popcorn was a "slider food" and that they had no problem with it.  I was OK with the 5 handfuls I ate but I had a stomach ache before bed.  So 2-3 handfuls might be my limit. 

Now I have the overwhelming guilt thinking of the popcorn that is possibly sitting in my stomach!

Dr. Shapiro gave us a homework assignment before our next meeting, we're to go to the movies and NOT have popcorn.  She asked, "why do you feel you need to have popcorn or something to eat while you watch a movie?"  Hmm?  Because it makes me feel good!  I know, I get it but still - what a test, right?

Then on the way home from the session, Stefan and I were stopped in traffic for a bit because a guy was on a freeway bridge about to jump and traffic was stopped while negotiators tried to talk him down.  My food disorder, my popcorn guilt and the rest of my worries didn't seem so bad after seeing this guy about to leap off the bridge.