It's Halloween Time - the weather is changing and so is my new internal stomach.  I had my Month 2 follow up today with Dr. Ellner and I'm down another pound.  I was hoping for a fill but she said I needed to resolve my issues with eating before this happens and she said I'm still losing weight so she doesn't think I will need a fill for awhile - or at all.  Some of my take-aways for this appointment,

• My liquid protein intake needs to increase.  I thought I needed to have 90 grams of total protein a day but I have to take in 60-80 liquid protein and more using my 2 meals.
• I have to get my blood work done in two weeks, in time for my 3 month follow up
• I need to do a better job of taking my vitamins and B Complex - no more "forgetting"
• Buy a Heart Monitor! I need to make sure I'm doing cardio 5x a week and weight lifting at least 4x a week
• Stop drinking coffee, even decaf, it has Xanthene, an appetite stimulant
• Even though it's been hard to get full - I need to get my brain trained to eat to just get rid of the low blood sugar - once my headache, or grumpiness goes away, stop eating. Food is to be used as fuel - not comfort

So before any fill happens, if it happens at all, I need to work on these issues.

My family and I went to Disneyland and Disney CA for our annual family vacation and we had a blast.  We were exhausted but even with the few bad items (a handful of Doritos, some popcorn and one chocolate covered pretzel) - it was easy to stay on course with liquid protein and protein meals.  I lost two lbs on the trip but gained the weight back the following day upon our return. 

The doctor is confident the weight will come off if I can focus on a few points that won't sabotage my weight-loss - more liquid protein during the day and more exercise!  Tis' the Season for change. 

First real Girls Night Out since surgery, last Friday (the 16th) and I had a blast.  My girlfriend, Lisa, my dear sister friend from High School was down and we celebrated our friend, Kim's birthday with a Girls Night Out.  I was nervous wondering if my new stomach would be able to handle drinks and hope that I wouldn't get the munchies. 

I survived the night and my late night snack was a yogurt.  All in all, a great night out with the girls and the only bummer is that with lap-band surgery, your alcohol intake remains the same so appetite down but drink consumption, same.  I do respect my new stomach more and made sure I was very conscious of my intake.  This is good!

I Remember...

Today is a hard day for me. On 9/11/2001, I was six months VERY pregnant and Stefan was in Vegas for a trade show when the events of the day unfolded.   I now realize what is must have been like for our grandparents when they talked about WWII or Pearl Harbor.  I couldn't relate to their pain, I can now.  I have been glued to reruns and accounts of 9/11, I watch 9/11 movies (United 93).  I am exhausted every night but I feel like the events of 9/11 just happened. 

When the Big So Cal Blackout happened on Thursday of last week, I had the girls with me and when more information unfolded and cell service was interrupted, I immediately became hyper-focused and calm and thought that it could possibly be a terrorist attack of sorts. It took three hours to get home from school and lots of coordinating with my sister and cousin as SDSU to make sure all were safe.  Thank goodness it wasn't anything but a horrible accident apparently by one employee working on a power line that cut off service to five million people for 12 hours - yikes.

I did fall into some bad habits during this last week - stress eating.  I ate Fritos, I drank lots of wine in one sitting (in the dark during the blackout), and I ate fries (only six). I do try to get back on track every day and plan out meals and even make sure to take in more protein via beverages.  I did lose a pound so I feel good about that.

I received a wonderful gift this week of clothes money. I'm going to buy pants or skirts that will get me through the rest of my weight loss.  Yay.

I also started exercising with the weight ball, 10 lbs.  It's not much but it is a start.

Today I remember those who lost their lives during 9/11/2011 and the families they left behind.  I kiss my sweet babies a lot more.  I give thanks to the men, women and families of service, past and present, who serve and I honor their sacrifice.  And on this day, I even remind myself of what it was like to carry 40 additional pounds and how my food choices shortened my life span but how my choices now give me back control and buy me more time with my family because you never know when it might be your last day.

Feeling Full...NOT!

I've graduated!  I'm now on "real" foods but I'm still eating mushy foods.  My one-month appointment with Dr. Ellner went fantastic.  She doesn't feel like I need a fill at this point.  I did mention my concern about not being able to eat salads - she said it may take time but that salads were not out of the question for most of her patients.  I just have to ease into it.  I was so excited about this news.

For the first time in my life I was told I was ahead of the curve - I'm usually ON the curve - my protein intake has my body burning fat instead of eating muscle so of the 37 pounds I've lost, 36 has been fat and I've only lost 1 lb. muscle.  I now have to work on incorporating weights to help in the weight loss.  The doctor is very excited about my progress and it feels like a great place to renew my excitement about this process.

It's almost time..."girl time" and my attitude and feeling of a bottomless pit is strong!  The doctor says to just go with it to just get through but get back on track as soon as possible. She wasn't too worried about it but I can't seem to get full!  This worries me!

I didn't pass the movie test.  The girls and I went to the movies yesterday after we took the car to the shop for an oil change.  We walked to the mall (only a .25 mile) then sat down to watch "Spy Kids 4D."  All of us had hot dogs (mine was minus the bun) but I finished the entire dog.  The girls had popcorn.  I tried and tried and tried to resist the popcorn - I really did try but I lost the battle!  I caved in but I ate one kernel at a time and really tried to enjoy it.  And oh, I enjoyed it.  Too bad I did - how can I win this battle?

My clothes are fitting better - actually they're falling off me.  I have to hold my pants up a lot.  My underwear are actually falling as well.  Thank goodness I'm not wearing skirts. 

I am excited about this time in my life.  I like that my girls know that I'm doing this for them. They have been so supportive and Iliana let's everyone know that I can only eat "mushy foods."