I Remember...

Today is a hard day for me. On 9/11/2001, I was six months VERY pregnant and Stefan was in Vegas for a trade show when the events of the day unfolded.   I now realize what is must have been like for our grandparents when they talked about WWII or Pearl Harbor.  I couldn't relate to their pain, I can now.  I have been glued to reruns and accounts of 9/11, I watch 9/11 movies (United 93).  I am exhausted every night but I feel like the events of 9/11 just happened. 

When the Big So Cal Blackout happened on Thursday of last week, I had the girls with me and when more information unfolded and cell service was interrupted, I immediately became hyper-focused and calm and thought that it could possibly be a terrorist attack of sorts. It took three hours to get home from school and lots of coordinating with my sister and cousin as SDSU to make sure all were safe.  Thank goodness it wasn't anything but a horrible accident apparently by one employee working on a power line that cut off service to five million people for 12 hours - yikes.

I did fall into some bad habits during this last week - stress eating.  I ate Fritos, I drank lots of wine in one sitting (in the dark during the blackout), and I ate fries (only six). I do try to get back on track every day and plan out meals and even make sure to take in more protein via beverages.  I did lose a pound so I feel good about that.

I received a wonderful gift this week of clothes money. I'm going to buy pants or skirts that will get me through the rest of my weight loss.  Yay.

I also started exercising with the weight ball, 10 lbs.  It's not much but it is a start.

Today I remember those who lost their lives during 9/11/2011 and the families they left behind.  I kiss my sweet babies a lot more.  I give thanks to the men, women and families of service, past and present, who serve and I honor their sacrifice.  And on this day, I even remind myself of what it was like to carry 40 additional pounds and how my food choices shortened my life span but how my choices now give me back control and buy me more time with my family because you never know when it might be your last day.